PICK UP THE PIECES OF YOUR LIFE TO FIND YOURSELF

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When it seems like everything is lost or shattered into pieces, what do you do?

How do you find yourself? Where do you begin?

Let’s starting by understanding this:

Life has a way teaching us lessons. They are often hard and difficult to go through. Our good days and our bad days mold us into who we’ll become and in all of that we may get overwhelmed with the complications of life. So now that you’ve seen, done, and heard it all, now is the time to go ahead and start picking up the pieces!! It’s time to do this for YOU and ONLY YOU! No one can stop your hustle or dictate the path of success that you’re now on. Instead of waiting for the year to end or from the near year to begin, make a decision to pick up the pieces of your life, NOW & TODAY!

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You’re probably wondering “which pieces should I pick up?” ONLY YOU know what you value the MOST. Make sure those are the pieces you search for and pick up first. You cannot reach beyond those pieces to go and get new or more pieces! It only adds clutter and more junk to your current pieces in your life.

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Your passions, motivations, inspirations, happiness, joy, peace, laughter, faith, and love SHOULD be what you pick up because they are the necessities in leading a successful life. By picking up these types of pieces first, you’ll be able to hold on to them and use them throughout the course of your life, during the good and bad times. However, it is your choice in what you decide to pick up and where you lay them down in your life for foundation. I can only suggest THREE PIECES that I believe will help you find begin the journey to picking up yourself:

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  1. Change your perspective by no longer picking up the negative pieces that previously affected your life. As a matter of fact, throw them away RIGHT AWAY! Begin to think bigger, better, and wiser. Refuse to put yourself down, but instead lift yourself up.
  2. Conquer your fears by going for the goals you never felt possible or you thought were out of your reach. Just like you’re able to pick up the pieces of your life, you are able to overcome everything that makes you afraid and simply go for the gold!
  3. Understand that life is a process and each step that you take will guide you towards finding out who you really are and what you’re made of. You will learn your strengths, weaknesses, and quirks all throughout your journey. So go ahead and live.

Though you’ve been through tough trails and circumstances, remember YOU ARE THE AUTHOR, it is time for a fresh start and a new story to your success. ONLY YOU CAN PICK UP THE PIECES TO YOUR LIFE TO FIND YOURSELF!

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Let’s make 2014 a year that counts the most!

Signing off until next year,

Dr. Dionna

Life is too short…so live it NOW!

Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing and don’t let people bring you down. When you understand life, you see the value it holds. It’s worth to you is based on how you decide to live it out.  Don’t ever finish off your day with regrets or not tell your loved ones you love them. Take the chance you have now and do the “little things,” which have so much importance.

Don’t just stop at that! Life is a gift! A special gift given to us that we should cherish and appreciate.  Do something great with the life you’ve been given. Chase your dreams, goals, desires, and the things you’re most passionate about.Life-is-a-Gift

Life is beautiful, full of ups and downs and twists and turns. Today, be sure to let go of all the pointless drama and unnecessary baggage.

Since life is short, why not be anything but happy? 

WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEAN? DOES IT HAVE A FEELING OR A SPECIFIC LOOK?

define success

The most common definition of SUCCESS is “the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame; the correct or desired result of an attempt; someone or something that is successful; a person or thing that succeeds” (Merriam-Webster, 2013). There are so many definitions for SUCCESS but the real definition comes from within your own desires. It is dependent upon what compliments and completes your inner most desires and heart.

Sometimes we trick ourselves into believing that the most mediocre things that have taken place in our lives are what we call or can define as SUCCESS. Or we pick the things others go for in society and become complacent because someone else defines that as SUCCESS. We often conform to what society defines SUCCESS as or what society says SUCCESS should feel like for an individual; but what is SUCCESS?

I challenge you to look at the things you have acquired or accomplished in your life and determine if that has really helped you become the person you desire to be in your heart. When I use to go through so much turmoil in my life, I would look at SUCCESS as a far cry from where I was at the time. I could not see beyond the struggles in my life; what God had ahead for me. The tears from anger, pain and feeling like a failure clouded my vision so heavily, I just could not see!

Back then, if you asked me what SUCCESS meant to me, I would have said this below:

SUCCESS has been

S = Sad

U= Unwanted

C = Compromises’ & Challenges

C = Covered in

E = Easy & Effortless

S = Struggles &

S = Sacrifices

Now, when I define SUCCESS, I go beyond the general meaning and define it as it applies to what I want out of my life.

Time and experiences will force you to go there! I can now welcome any unwanted compromises, challenges, easy, effortless, struggles and sacrifices and say:

SUCCESS is now

S = Seeking

U = Unlimited

C = Chances that comes with

C = Convenient and

E = Equal opportunities

S = Solidified through

S = Satisfaction

Basically SUCCESS is what you make it and how you define it to match your existence. Take time to determine WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEAN FOR YOUR LIFE?

Try to fill in the blank and say “SUCCESS means _________________ to me”. Is it love, happiness, comfort, riches, certifications, degrees, wealth or fame (if any), parenting, or the lavished/luxury materials you possess (some will say this is an accomplishment)? Is it how you look, what you wear, what you drive, where you sleep? Is it going on a trip, reaching for the stars, building a plan, putting the pieces back together, jumping for joy, choosing between SUCCESS and failure? Is it having money in your hand, feeling smooth leather, warm fur, 600 thread count sheets or being fed good food, winning a race, or walking down the red carpet?

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What is it? You be the judge!

Signing Off

Dr. D

Have You Ever Felt So DAMN Unsuccessful/Unpretty (Yes I mean TLC’s Type of Unpretty) In Your Life?

Have You Ever Felt So Unsuccessful or Unhappy in your Life that you pegged it as being Unpretty?

Or were there any other reasons why you just felt so DAMN UNPRETTY?

Tlc-unprettyIf TLC Could Not Have Said It Any Better: (Try to hear the lyrics as you read the words-very powerful)

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes make you feel unpretty tooI was told I was beautiful but what does that mean to you?Look into the mirror who’s inside there the one with the long hair.Same old me again today, yeah

My outsides look cool, my insides are blue! Every time I think I’m through it’s because of you. I’ve tried different ways but it’s all the same! At the end of the day I have myself to blame I’m just trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow, You can fix your nose if you say so, You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make! But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too! Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty!

Yeah, I’ll make you feel unpretty too…………………………………………………………………..

Never insecure  until I met you, now I’m bein’ stupid! I used to be so cute to me, just a little bit skinny! Why do I look to all these things to keep you happy? Maybe get rid of you and then I’ll get back to me, hey

My outsides look cool, my insides are blue! Every time I think I’m through it’s because of you. I’ve tried different ways but it’s all the same! At the end of the day I have myself to blame me just trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow, You can fix your nose if you say so, You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make! But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too! Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty!

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow, You can fix your nose if you say so, You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make! But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too! Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty!

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow, You can fix your nose if you say so, You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make! But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too! Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty!

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow, You can fix your nose if you say so, You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make! But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too! Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty!

Read more: TLC – UNPRETTY LYRICS

Ok So You Get My Drift!

When You Hear These Words or Think of These Images Below What Comes To Mind?

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Have you ever made dumb decisions because you felt unpretty?

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My point is that life can take us down so much that we have no idea how to appreciate what we have already been blessed with…like a beautiful smile with chubby cheeks, gorgeous body with a pimple outbreak, beautiful children with tempers and outgoing personalities, safe family with a little bit of dysfunctional characteristics, a working car with a high car note, a comfortable home with a yard and an alarm system, a job with barely a decent pay, smart personality with horrible rapport skills, etc….the list can go on forever! Why? Because we are often insecure about who we already are and have no idea how to turn back the hands of time to a place when we thought we weren’t unpretty but looking back on it now, we realize we were in the best shape, style, and beauty of our life time.

Where does it stop? When is enough, enough? Who will stop us? When will we ever look at ourselves and say THANK YOU to our creator for creating such a unique individual – thats who? ME!

If we keep looking deeper inside for someone else, you will never find who you want to be or who you already are BUT when you are looking inside yourself for a deeper meaning of why you exist on this earth, then you will find all that you are destined to be! Until you can be happy with who you already are, you will never find the person you are meant to be!

Let’s get a clue friends and family!

Signing off,

Dr. Hancock-Johnson

ARE YOU FINALLY READY TO UNPACK IT, TO STOP LEAVING IT WHERE OTHERS CAN SEE IT AND CONTINUE TO TRIP OVER IT?

Eb 5When our emotional baggage includes fear, worry and guilt, we tend to attract the wrong type of support! Or maybe we just go to the wrong person for positive support!

On top of that, when there are people who do not want to see you succeed they tend to prey on your weakness, don’t they? Soon as they learn about your emotional baggage, they can drive the whole deeper than you can imagine! They will actually help you lift your emotional baggage instead of helping you unpack it!

So we simply have to avoid negative peers or anyone who is not willing to help us unpack our emotional baggage but only if we are ready! This type of person will not mind tripping over your baggage in order to watch you continue to drown! They will actually enjoy falling over your drama and unwanted luggage just to see you sink under water!

Now if we are ready we can easily unpack our emotional baggage and fill it up with more positive things like life goals, the desire to succeed, motivation, etc…

But if you are the type of person who considers yourself to be lazy, you have to find your motivation in another suitcase and you have no idea where I am going with the whole motivation and baggage story lol – here is a quote from my second book Be Your Own Life Coach: How To Life Coach Yourself Into What You Want that may help you!

“From here on out, when we set goals, remember we have to check our laziness at the ticket counter and pick up our luggage of motivation at the baggage claim or else we will continue to fail at clearing the clutter in our mind to see our vision through” (BYOLC, 2013, pg. 81).

When you spend time visualizing where you want to be in life and you act on it, you leave no time for carrying previous baggage. Visualizing helps you to minimize unwanted and un-needed emotional baggage.

EB 2If you are focused on change, then you cannot under any circumstances focus on your past! The more excited you get about your future and the changes you plan to make, the lighter your luggage will feel because there is nothing holding you back.

Ultimately you will begin to feel weight lifted off your shoulders that allow you to be free and happy.

Have you ever returned from a long trip, got home and was too tired to un-pack your luggage?

unpacked luggage literallyIf you are like me, the luggage ends up sitting for week’s right and basically nothing moves until you move it? Same with the emotional baggage in your life, you let it continue to sit and eat at your soul, then nothing will ever change!

The thing is before you can walk a new path, move into a new direction, or set up this new life for yourself, you have to unpack your old baggage! That means removing anything you don’t want or need to be a part of your life.

That may be also learning how to identify your weaknesses, the blind spots or even digging deep within yourself to finally face your issues.

EB unpackAnother part of unpacking your emotional baggage is also stopping the blame game; blaming everyone for your faults and learning how to forgive others by letting IT go.

 

 

Signing off once again,

Dr. Hancock-Johnson

 

WHAT TYPE OF BAGGAGE DO YOU CARRY AND ARE YOU READY TO UNPACK IT?

How many of you feel you have a lot of baggage in your life?

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How many of you believe it’s ALL emotional baggage?

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If you could draw a pie chart, how much would you say is contributed to emotional verses family or relationship baggage?

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Let’s take a step back and define Emotional Baggage first!

The word EMOTIONAL is defined as – a mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort accompanied by physiological changes (Paraphrase from Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 2013).

The word BAGGAGE is defined and referred to as trunks, bags, parcels, suitcases filled with one’s belonging while traveling; aka luggage (Paraphrase from Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 2013).

After a few minutes of research, I was not able to find a suitable definition for Emotional Baggage besides from Wikipedia! So let’s try to use both definitions to make a point here!

If we put the two together we can define EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE as – an everyday expression that we may display through general concern for unresolved issues of an emotional nature; that can mean also carrying all the disappointments, wrongs, and trauma of the past around as one heavy load (Paraphrase from Wikipedia Dictionary, 2013).

We can summarize EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE as – emotional turmoil caused by some issues in someone’s past; it can be painful memories of anything such as rejection, sexual or physical trauma, hurt, mis-trust, etc….

Here Is A Food For Thought – Do you know why we have a pound limit for our luggage when we fly?

Besides the technical airplane mumbo jumbo reasons, it is simply because we have to learn to fly with a lighter load; we have to learn how to let go of some things before we can move on to our next destination or next phase in life.

Ultimately you want to be free from of all the EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE in life right? That can include financial debt, pain, abuse, trauma, relationship issues, etc… Whether you realize it or not, all of these things are attached to your emotional baggage in life.

Here Is Another Food For Thought – How do you feel when you are at the check-in counter and the person at the ticket counter asks you to remove items from your luggage because it is over weight?

Basically they are asking you to travel lightly, right? But what does that mean? For me – at that moment I feel like I don’t understand ENGLISH because I was sure before I arrived at the airport that I did not want to leave anything else behind right LOL). Have you ever felt like that too?

The point is that you feel territorial and unsure if you want to let go of anything else in your luggage! That is how we have to look at the EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE we don’t want to let go of too!

Ok so now you have finally gotten on the plane and flown to your destination! You are at baggage claim waiting for your luggage to arrive right? What are your thoughts at that moment?

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No one expects to loose their luggage but the moment yours does not show up, you freak out right? I know I do lol!

This shows us how much we are emotionally attached to our baggage! Even more we are attached to materialistic things, things that should not make or break us! Those of us, who like to carry a purse, carry so much emotional baggage right up under our arms every second of the day! Do you realize that?

So let me ask again! How much of this do you carry with you on a day to day basis and how much can you say is unwanted baggage?

“Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack” a quote from My Pink Visions, 2013.

The question is ARE YOU READY TO UNPACK IT, TO STOP LEAVING IT WHERE OTHERS CAN SEE IT AND CONTINUE TO TRIP OVER IT? (Let’s get more into this discussion in next month’s post!)

Signing off,

Dr. D

F.E.A.R. (Finding Easy Alternative Reactions To Our Problems)

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Part I

Do you wish you could actually push this button when times got hard?

So that you could actually disappear like I Dream of Jeanie? Or maybe just to find another escape route?

Are you are person who is always looking for an easy way out of dealing with life situations?

Well guess what? It is FEAR and when FEAR arrives, we loose faith in ourselves and our abilities to be all that we are destined to be in life!

Part II

Ever heard of that saying “The Only Thing We Have To Fear is Fear Itself?”

What comes to mind when you think of this saying?

FEAR can influence your daily actions, thoughts and behaviors if you allow it!

Part III

When is the last time you allowed FEAR to make a decision for you?

Do you know that the “thing (s)” that you FEAR in life has power over you but the fact that you allow the FEAR to take over your decisions shows that FEAR has power over “it” too!

What are your biggest FEARS in life?

Did you know that death is not the biggest FEAR we have, it is taking risks to be alive, healthy and happy!

They say people who are the angriest with their life are the most afraid to move on in their life! Do you believe that?

I believe that if you are not happy with your life and where you are currently, then it makes sense why you would be angry, POINT BLANK!

Part IV

In order to CLEAR the FEAR, you have to take risks believing in yourself and your ability to accomplish anything!

If not, you will always be in that same place and in FEAR of the same things!

Basically we manifest this FEAR into our lives, like speaking it up into a conversation

FEAR tends to hold us back and we allow it by FINDING EASY ALTERNATIVE REACTIONS TO OUR PROBLEMS (FEAR)!

You not only have to let go and BELIEVE IN YOU, but you also have to let GOD (or your higher power of choice) work his magic into your destiny!

Remember, how you handle your FEARS will determine where you go with the rest of your life!

Activity

If you want to take yourself back to a place where FEAR did not exist in your current existence, then spend 20 minutes following this activity below!

Close your eyes for a moment (WAIT! Well read this first and then close your eyes lol) but when you close your eyes, think back to a time in your life when there was this one thing you could not do but learned after a million tries that you actually could do it!

What was that feeling like? Was the moment filled with joy because you just found out you could actually do something that you didn’t think you could? Or was it filled with concern because you didn’t know you could do it?

Either way – the answers and results to these questions above prove ONLY one thing and that was the fact YOU COULD DO IT! YOU COULD ACCOMPLISH IT! YOU COULD BUILD IT! YOU COULD BELIEVE IT! YOU COULD CREATE IT! YOU COULD MANAGE IT!

One of the greatest discoveries in life is finding out that you can do what you were previously afraid to do!

So why wait until never to find this out?  Avoid Fear Like You Would An Oncoming Car!

Until next month!

Dr. Dionna

Do You Know How To Do An Inventory Of Yourself?

I want you to think of your body as a warehouse and how much of you do you have in stock!

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Ask Yourself: (If You Could Take a Look at the Inside of Yourself/Your Internal Warehouse)

1) What would be on the shelves?

2) What exactly is in those old boxes?

3) What is still left in the new boxes?

4) What do you have too much of?

5) What can you get rid of currently?

6) What are the things that you do not have enough of?

7) What are some the things you are currently in need of?

8) Lastly, what are the thing that you need to clear out of your internal warehouse?

For me, I find myself looking at all the negative things that affect my happiness, healthiness, and humanity!

If there is something that affects who I am as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, niece, life coach, author and doctor then it means it is causing too much static in my life and should be removed from my internal warehouse and out of stock permanently from my warehouse!

If you are going through anything remotely similar, it’s time to clear the air and let go of those extra electrons or static you do not need and that is affecting your focus in life!

Basically that is how you do a quick inventory of yourself!

Get Real, Get Well, Get Life Again

Do you ever feel tired of wasting important time on unimportant things?

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Life is short, we forget this because we spend time wasting it on things and behaviors that should not matter in life!

Do you ever feel yourself getting sick of getting caught up in others drama?

Sometimes you may have to pull the plug on others to give yourself life, as mean as that sounds, I am not asking you to take someone else’s life in order to get your life back. I am simply saying that in order to get life again, you need to pull the plug on those you feel are causing you too much static in your life.

In order to Get Real, Get Well & Get Life Again you must ask yourself these questions below:

1) What does Get Real with yourself and others mean? (Hint-Get Real means be firm in who you are NOW when it comes to yourself and with others)

2) What does Get Well with yourself mean? (Hint – Get Well means to Self-Reflect, Clear the Air, and Pull the Plug on others to get healthy mentally and physically)

3) What does Get Life Again for yourself mean? (Hint – Get Life Again means to do what it takes to get your happiness back in your life)

Remember – It’s time to clear the air and let go of those extra electrons or static we do not need or that is affecting our sanity and basically that is doing an inventory of ourselves!

Check Next Months Post on How to think of Yourself as a Warehouse and Do an Inventory Check On Yourself!

Is Your Life Just Coasting?

Do you know where your life is going or Are you just coasting until you can figure it out?

If you are not consistently accomplishing any goals but rather coasting along an unsure territory like a body of water floating in between it’s walls, then you may be missing that piece to the puzzle that helps you define who you are and where you want to be in life!

One way to overcome this is to look at where you are in life currently and determine if the waves in your life is moving as fast as you want it too. If not, then you need to find a way to get your life moving into a different direction where things are moving faster than the waves you see above!